Woke up this morning, with just enough time to start burning a new kids movie for the young one, before running out the door for work. The girl at the corner store sold me my pack of smokes, like usual, filling up 5 minutes with inane chatter, consisting of mostly nothing.Work drags on for the most part of the day, sitting at my little desk, with my little chair and my little computer, staring at the screen and trying hard not to lose touch. People talk to me and I respond, filling their moments with mostly inane chatter, meaning nothing.
Going home now, watching the cars drive past, wondering if the people in those cars are feeling as lost as myself. I make a wrong turn and wind up back there again. Why can't I remember where I live? Idiot.
Finally home. Cats hungry, messages from people I don't know on the phone, computer tells me another DVD's done. I should eat, I suppose, but I don't. I usually don't, why break tradition?
And now, here I sit, elbow to knee, just like last night, wondering if you're out there.
Ciao
3 comments:
Re The most loneliest day of my life.
I can feel your loneliest.I have been/was/am \there at any giving time of the day or night. I just want to comment on our blog. I feel and understand but do not have the knack to write as beautifully as you do.
I do have a book I read and most times I do not believe what I read when trying to apply it to myself.
I just want to share with you what this book says about loneliest days.
Loneliness is part of the human condition, and it really doesn't have a lot to do with whether we're around other people or not. Many of us, at times, felt lonely in a crowd. The essence of loneliness is isolation from self. As we learn to know and comfortably accept ourselves, silence can become a friend. those who have grown to this level of self-acceptance are never truly alone. there is a rub, of course. for years we may not have wanted our own company because we haven't liked ourselves. We haven't been willing to peek beyond the walls of our most private and personal secrets. and why? Were we afraid nothing would be there but damage and disappointment? But the program shows us that it isn't true. There is not damage, disappointment, and failure at our core. what is there is a beautiful person doing the best possible with the tools at hand. As we go on, we need never be lonely as we once were. So Pal, let to day be "gratitude day" You are a good man and life is the fucking pits but we have to keep plugging along. some days you are the dog and some days you are the hydrant. That is just the way it is.
Keep up your writing pal. I wish I had your skill with words. And about driving around going on the wrong street or place hahahha, man can I relate to that.
who are you looking for??
who is it that you are expecting to suddenly appear?
who is the mystery person you sense is lurking in the background looking in on your life?
You are so many miles ahead of where you were when i met you.......your Bob Dylan side is showing again friend.......
yup -- still thinks about you and lurk from time to time.........
blessings and big huggles.....lm
I try to follow my heart with all I do, but my heart has no voice, no way of telling me exactly what it is.
Like when I called you Moon, before I moved out of S'side. My heart was telling me to, but I needed to hear it, not feel it.
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