March 2005I told her I would write about her and I did.
I erased those words when we argued...never to be returned.
The words I wrote are still there though...in my heart. About how she came into my Life like she had never left. About how being with her meant never having to go home because I already was home. About how I bet her eyes sparkled in the dark, and they do, they sparkle with the love we share. About how we could talk for hours about nothing and love it. The sound of her voice so soothing to me, helping wash away the troubles of the day and reminding me of the sun.
I do not remember what day we met but that doesn't matter to me....no ending///no beginning
Love you Charlie
August 2005It was beautiful....but nothing in Life lasts forever. It changes....makes you learn about yourself....
We loved each other but something inside me wasn't ready to keep it going. And now?....now I have to learn from it and try not to let the memories and the thought that I could have done something to keep it alive kill me inside. She is where she needs to be though...and that brings peace to my soul....she needs to protect hers and, even though that means keeping me away, I understand it. It hurts thinking about her little one. It seems that everything I do or hear or see reminds me of something from "back then".... when a child calls my name, hearing songs from shows, even little things like car seats and toys bring me back, just for that instant. I wish I could have remembered the difference between "my Life" and "our life" and just listened to her and talked with her..................but I didn't. And now, I have to heed the advice of one of my friends and "learn something from this for when God *really* answers your prayers and sends the one you asked for...the one that loves you and that you can love".
It *was* beautiful...and still is.....in my fondest memories.
No ending////no beginning
December 2006
Its been a year and a half since I broke up with my last girlfriend. Its said that we are a product of our Past and a hostage for our Future. What *matters*, however, is how we play out the Present. When I wrote those posts, I did not and could not forsee who I would be in 6 months or a year, just like I do not know what kind of person will be writing words here in a years time.
I do know who is writing the words right now.
Todays person is not completely happy, none of us are in that blissfully unaware state. But I am content in knowing that my Life has been interesting and will continue to be so, as long as I do what I can, where I am, with what I have. Not denying forward motion, just accepting the path already taken.
No ending////no beginning
Ciao
