Now you're lost in a haze of alcohol soft middle age

Song Of The Moment

Have I mentioned my Dad was an alcoholic? No? Well, I have officially mentioned it. I remember quite well when he drove me to Morell each day for work, barely seeing the road over the steering wheel and through scotch-filled eyes. Almost sent us flying into a construction ravine one day "Damn guy standing in the middle of the road, he tryin' to get killed?" Flagger barely had time to move as we barreled past. I came close to either dying or being wheelchair-bound that day.

Have I mentioned how my best friend turned into an alcoholic too? Busting into my apartment at 6 in the morning, hours before my young one was to come over, drunk off his ass. Eating caramel corn dipped in mustard. All I could do to drive him out of there, before his life wrecked mine. Didn't like how I saw his eyes turn vicious, my old friend had turned into someone else.

Have I mentioned there's a gravestone in the St. Peters Road graveyard, that you will find food placed by the gravestone? He died too young as he took a turn too quick on his dirtbike. I talked about girls to him, in that just turning into a teenager way, and now I look down to only hear nothing from the ground. His parents make sure he is well fed by bringing food to his grave and leaving it for him.

I don't care who you are. People don't drink so they can get better eyesight. And they certainly don't drink so they can make better and faster judgment calls. As for judgement, yep, I've had my wild days. And I learned from them real quick. Spending a paycheque to risk yourself and others is not wise. Accomplishes nothing. Nowadays, I take peace in knowing my boring day-to-day life does not JEOPARDIZE others. People you may care for.



That's it, I'm done.


Ciao

Beneath the lies.

Song Of The Moment

Please stop. if I had another facet, I would take it
This is all I have right now, you don't see
How could you see?
Whole damn things falling apart
As for advertising, we all do it without knowing
it gives peace
Pick the scab til it bleeds
Then show off the scar

And people. People ask for what they get
Fuck sakes
Don't you understand?
no, no you don't
Sometimes, when you're lost, you need to scream
First to see if anyone's out there
Then, when you slowly realize no one is
You keep screaming
Just to scream

Then what?
Gonna scream until someone hears?
Only person is you, my friend
Maybe someone will wander by and hear it, taken out of context, of course
But their opinion can't matter now, can it?
Do they know? no
Do you?

Best part though, the hiding, masking, shutting down
So easy to do, fake a lie detector
Throw the wool over your own eyes enough and it's easy to make other people believe it was never really there
false pride in the erasing
Still there






Ciao

Why don't you get your mind out of the past?

Song Of The Moment

Just when you think you have a handle on it
It changes color and flavor
Wish to hell I could detach but I can't
Only one thing left in the world that means something

Don't pull me in
I only need what you have
I don't want what you have to give
You decided this

My life has strayed away from that line
I kept what was important
And remembered the words
Black does not turn to white overnight/or does it?

You CANNOT erase the years of bitterness with ignorance
Apologies don't even begin to fade the scars left behind
Change, 'real change', can start to heal it
But I don't see it yet, two faces on one head

Everyday I meet people, some stay, some go
But there are only two that mean anything to me
One is a little girl who knows I love her
And the other is me






Ciao