Monday, March 14, 2011

I am changed by you

Song of the Moment

Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about "creating" yourself. For a while there, I was trying to find what was here all along. Each day is all I need. I wish I had the words to describe the colours you place in my world. I have never seen anything like you in my Life and I don't think I ever will again. Thank you for turning dust into gold.



"Tell me again about my heart."
"It may be dusty, but you have a heart of gold."



Ciao

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Be something you love and understand.

Song of the Moment

I remember a time when I was younger, maybe 7 or 8. I had just started getting an allowance. My Mom had a friend by the name of Stewart Ramsay. He was 82 years old and was a chimney sweep. His face and hands were always sooty black but he always had a smile on his face. He drove an old school bus that he painted brown, the only thing that could carry his extra long ladders around town. Stewart also sold "Rawleigh products", ... homemade root beer kits, ointments, medicinal creams, "make your own ice cream" kits and the such. He kept all this in my Mom's basement and I would help keep it organized. Stewart would give me his pocket change for this; Mom would take calls for Stewart for people to have their chimneys swept and he would give her money every day for it. And, every day, Mom and I would go to the store, the Save Easy mall, which was just a few minutes walk from where we lived.
At first, I would buy a comic book from "Books N Things", searching through the single rack of comics, Captain Carrot and the Zoo Crew, West Coast Avengers, New Universe, etc.. Mom would look through the ornaments they had on the shelves while I searched. I remember one of the signs they had ...

"Precious to look at, delightful to hold, but if you should break it, consider it sold!"

As I got older, I would use Stewarts pocket change to buy Mom a flower from the All Occasion florist every Sunday. Just a plastic flower. I would always get a card too, one of those small "Thank you" cards you get with flowers. I would write silly things on it, like "To: The best Mom in the world, From : The best Son in the world". She had an album of all these cards, she always kept them. Mom kept the plastic flowers in a vase by the door. They always made her smile. The vase was filled by 2 years, and we would "weed it out", taking out the older, falling apart flowers.
One Sunday, I remember I was going to go to the flower place, but, when I was putting on my shoes, Mom was in the kitchen, talking to someone on the phone. She was crying. I didn't know until later that she had found out that week she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She tried to explain this to me, but I didn't understand. All I knew was that Mom was sad, and I wanted to make her happy. I said "I'm going to go get you a flower, ok? That always makes you happy." She tried to smile but the tears started again. I didn't understand why it wasn't making her happy. I ran out of the house and threw all my change on the lawn. I didn't want it anymore. It wasn't helping. Nothing was helping. I couldn't do anything!
Mom came out and sat with me on the front step. She told me everything was going to be ok, don't worry. I told her I threw my money away, that I didn't want it anymore, it wasn't making her happy. She said "But you worked hard for that money. And I am so happy and proud of how hard you worked for it." We spent the next hour looking for all the loose change I threw away. When we had it all picked up, I asked her what we should do now? We both went to the store, and I got her a white carnation, a real flower. I had that flower for years after she passed away. It got lost somewhere along the way, but the memory remains. And the lessons she taught me.


Don't take anything for granted, Life is too short.

Be happy with what you have, while you have it.

Being happy can make others happy, just give it Time.


Ciao