It's been a year or so since I've rambled on this blog. I spent the past year and a half on a "Grand Adventure", or so my fortune cookie told me in late 2010, sitting in that Chinese resteraunt with friends who by now have either moved on in their lives or have turned their backs on me. I went through unbelievable high's and inevitable low's. I lived a movie. But like every movie, it had to end.
Today, I am not the same man I was when I opened that fortune cookie. I'm a little more beaten up & used … but a little smarter for it all. I've seen and done so much … all I can do is try to learn from it all.
Am I disgusted with myself? Yes .. yes I am. It wasn't worth the end. I gave up everything for that movie of a Life. I pushed everyone and everything away. I lost myself. My fake world quite literally collapsed in front of my eyes.
Lately, I've been asking people "What's the worst thing you've ever done?" Most people confess to mean acts done to others: "Once, I put tacks on someones seat in Sunday school." … things like that.
The worst thing I ever did was push away everything I had for something I never had.
I miss you Amber.
0 comments:
Post a Comment