Find another place to feed your greed, while I find a place to rest

You can either rationalize your inner dialogue into your every day Life
Or cover it up, allowing its cancer to spread through you
With its sickly sweet mask of normalcy

Everyone wears a perfect costume day-to-day
Dry-cleaned and ironed or stained and faded, it's all the same
Distraction from the Truth

The Truth is what drives you without you knowing
Deny it and it proves you weak
Accept it and be cast out into emptiness

Think back to your happiest moments
Were they supported by lies, fear, deceit?
If they were, you do not and cannot understand

Being free means being able to forsee the Future
And while predicting the Future, looking back from that unknown point ahead of you
And seeing yourself without regret

I do not want from you what you do not have
After all, we all wear the same uniform

All the world's a stage, it's just that I ain't on it anymore

Just another night
Just another day ended
And even though I tried
I come home empty-handed

These walls tell me lies
It's all they have heard, after all
Have to drown out the fake stories being told
With the slow-moving reality

Mirrors reflect the door, making more escape routes
Doubling the company
But when no one enters, no one leaves
And these walls are not my friends

Two clocks on different walls
Ticking off-beat to each other
One is the Past, the other the Now
And both won't wait

The pictures are all weathered and torn
Missing important pieces
Keeping the dust-covered facts
And denying the Future its' hold

When Night falls, there is no change
It's only closer to tomorrow
But tomorrow has turned into yesterday
And my hands are still empty

When life is hard, you have to change

"The children of separation are always targets for hurt. I should know, coming from a separated family. They either never get to know both their parents, or they are tugged between the 2, in some unneeded control struggle.
I remember when my wife left me, hurt alot, all I had was my little girl. Big responsibility for someone who's Life just came crashing down. Time though has a way of not exactly mending peoples scars, but allowing them to forget the scars. Some things are just more important.

I am sorry if you don't want me to be her Father, but I am. I don't know if that's how you feel, but it seems like it most days. I am equally as sorry that you are mad at me, more because I don't know how to stop it. All I can tell you are the facts. You have full custody of my Daughter. My Daughter has a Father who loves her very much.

Please don't keep her away from me again."

2 hours spent writing this. Trying to delete what was being written out of vengeful spite. In the end though, I couldn't click that little "Add Comment"" button. 'Sleep on it' a friend advised. So I did.
And now, here it is, a part of the whole. A short chapter in the story, tucked away in my world, openly viewable by all. I won't continue the fight by adding fuel directly to the fire, but I won't keep the shit in either.

Bottled shit smells badly after a while.








Ciao

And these memories lose their meaning

I am doing absolutely horrible, but don't I have an awesome smile?

Why in the hell am I so down on the inside? It's funny but today I got to thinking, I have more then what I seem to. I have so damn many friends and awesome memories. So what if I haven't found what I'm looking for? The road behind me is filled with moments that keep me going. They happened and made me what I am right at this moment, smiling and at peace.

Is it all bout me? No, it's about what I can do. Ripping down what stops me from doing what I can. An old friend once told me "Be happy for today." I've remembered it from time to time, and it has always brought me back to the light. And now, when I need it most, I am.

A long time ago, I wrote this:
"Far behind the crowd but close enough to hear.
The Life that I wanted is still nowhere near.
And why won't this pen free the tears from my eyes?"

I think I need to try to finish it:

"I've walked through the crowd and took what I may
Life's journey is not over so I cannot stay
My eyes look forward, my soul reaches back."







Ciao