Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Oct 6th, 2013



Tomorrow is my Daughters birthday. She'll be turning 15 this year. I haven't seen her since for about a year and a half now.

... no, she hasn't been abducted or kidnapped. I just haven't seen her since 2012. I might get the courage enough to try to call her tomorrow. Just scared her Mom will answer the phone and yell/laugh at me.

I want to write more than this that but it's hard to keep talking about it.

....... be right back, ok?







Now it's tomorrow. Skipped work because of a "family emergency". I want to call but I'm afraid of what may be. Accidentally dialed the number as I was walking by the kitchen and heard the automated voice telling me the number was not in service. I wish I could just go out to her new house and knock on the door but her Mom will just scream and yell at me. So I sent her an email.




Hi _____. It's your Dad. Happy Birthday!!

Tried to call your phone but the message said the phone was not in service. Maybe you got a new phone for your birthday? :D


Maybe we can hangout again sometime? I really miss seeing you. I'm sorry if you don't know what to say to me. It can be something simple like "Hi" :)


I still have a present for you, if you want it.






Love you _____,




Dad






Maybe I should just let go of what can't be changed. Accept what is now. If all I can do is send her an email, then that's what I can do. I won't ever forget that I have, not had, HAVE a daughter. And someday she's going to need me. I better be ready for when that day comes.







And today is two days later. I got promoted at work, today is my day off and, most importantly, the world did not end. Not seeing my daughter is rough. Thinking about it all the time is not healthy and is what is bringing me down. I haven't forgotten that I have a daughter, I am getting ready for when I see her again.

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