I don't think I have given up on "looking for someone". Fact of the matter is, I am not looking for anyone. I want to meet someone, someone that will bring the light back. But, I have seen alot and I don't think I can watch any of that again. I already know how the storyline ends, most of the time.One of the best books I have ever read (the five people you meet in heaven) explained it the best. I've had some good times. I've made differences in some peoples lives; some good, some not so good. And now, that that is all said and done, I'll sit and wait for ... well, ... for whatever comes in the end.
After all, whether you believe in Heaven or Hell, the afterlife, cremation or the Great Nothing, we all will meet again someday. So what if my life is secluded. At least it's not filled with the stress and trauma of dual-emotions battling it out. Don't you think its better to be lonely and hope-filled then to turn around to a warground-past and try to live with it?
Ciao
3 comments:
Yeah man. This emotion / chasing the impossible is bullshit. Drives some of us, and drives other to total madness. Meh. Life.
Hey man, I feel for you. Just think about the time you had with your little girl and think "I am a good dad" You did all the things that will give mer memories buried forever in her mind and heart. I have this book of daily affirmations and one I read to day seems to be just what you need
it goes - Today I acknowledge that I have emotions - but I am more than emotions. I am more than my thoughts. I need not cling to uncomfortable feelings or negative thoughts today. If I am feeling low in spirit for any reason, I must remember that the clouds will lift, the moods will pass,and I will see light again. Nothing outside me has the power to keep me depressed or anxious. No person has the power to keep me upset or lonely. I have it in my power to choose what I believe about my feelings. Today I choose to believe that my feelings are temporary and fluid. Today I choose to believe that my spirits will rise above the clouds. My infinite source sustains me and I know my heart will again sing a joyous song.
Hope you are feeling better pal and remember you are doing the best you can
Wow pei, thank you.... really.
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