the road to hell is littered with nice guys with good intentions

Song Of The Moment

I have been obsessed with my own mortality as of late. I have 2 lumps on my back, by my kidneys, that are paining me. With cancer being a pre-dominant gene in my family and with my younger sister geing re-diagnosed with cancer just recently, I am understandably scared spitless. Scared enough to make a doctors appt for Friday, in the hopes that this is just a kidney infection, and quit smoking, cold turkey.

With that said and done, lets assume the worst is true. Lets say I have cancer. I watched my Mom and Dad die of cancer. It was nowhere near pretty. Months spent deteriorating in the hospital, only to die of a cold. I was in my 20's when my parents died. Mom at 54, Dad at 62. My young one is only 7. I want to leave her with more memories then just the past 7 years.

But what if its too late?

Re-establish home-base. Unfortunately, this revelation at my short time here has changed how I see things, once again. If I didn't care before, I *really* don't care now. When I say "don't care", what I really mean is, why worry about the consequences? You only have a short time here. Do it like you can't do it again.







Ciao