I left it off the hook just to hear it ring

Song Of The Moment

So my first girlfriend moved back to the island. The last time I seen her, she was giving me back the spare key to my apartment and telling me "Its better this way." Now she's back from her cross-country adventure, almost 2 years later, with a son and a soon-to-be-husband. I know this because she called me and the display phone gave her away.

I won't even try to lie. She was my first true love. Something inside of her calls to me on a level that accepts her as she is, who she is. Even if she is committed to another, I am free to think of her freely, want to make her laugh and be "the shit" in her eyes. She tells me this in unspoken words, memories that we share, words that mean another. I sound obsessed.

I don't really know where to go with this situation. I know what she does for me, she would have to be blind not to know as well. I want to see her, but she's so far way from me. I want to give in to what I hold deep inside, but can't. Maybe I'm into self-torture. Or maybe I just haven't learned a lesson from it.

Regardless, yestrday was the closest Mars has been to the earth in a long time. Its also the farthest I have been from the feelings I have had for her, now re-ignited... and waiting for recognition





Ciao