Why should I be frightened of dying? There's no reason for it, you've gotta go sometime.

Song Of The Moment

I don't think many people can understand how much of a hypochondriac I have become. With people passing away recently, mysterious pains and lumps have become my obsession. A traumatic obsession. I'm only 36 and I have slipped into a phase of obsessing about death. Not normal, healthy or rational, but a reality, none the less.
I guess the big reason behind this is a double-edged knife. So many things I want to accomplish, paying my debt, owning a house, traveling, meeting people. But I continue to see things on a "Time-limit". And when I hear about someone my age dying? Total mind-f**k.
I really, really don't want to obsess about dying anymore. I'm only 36! I have a beautiful Daughter, an awesome job. I have options on how I want to make my Life better right now. I guess when the only person you have to talk to about your weird obsessions is yourself, the advice can be kind of sour.
If someone were to ask me a year ago what my biggest concern was, it would have been an easy answer, "Seeing my Daughter". Now, a year later, and the cards have flipped dramatically.
I really hope, a year from now, I can look back on this and say "Well, that was pretty stupid of you now, wasn't it?"
I really do.






Ciao