What it is and what it ain’t to be real

Dear Janet,

Every day I get up, I have a decision to make. Do I keep seeing our Daughter and continue to put up with how you treat me? ... or do I say the Hell with it all? I've gotten over you, ok? Can you please stop the hate?

Our Daughter is the most important thing in my Life. So, the choice is clear. But how can I keep on going on, not knowing what is happening with her in school, being tentative of calling to talk to her, not knowing if you will answer and fill the room with hateful comments, hearing my young one tell me she does not want to be your Mailman anymore?

Right now, it would appear, I am just a walking wallet. If someone were to ask you who your daughters Father was, would you tell them he's a jerk? Would you tell them I call your house and leave answering machine messages, telling you to grow up? Telling you if you don't, you wouldn't be seeing our Daughter anymore? Would you tell them how I stopped letting you know when Parent-Teacher interviews were? Or when her school plays were? That, even though the school won't send home anything to you, I won't send over a simple newsletter every now and then, just to keep you up-to-date on how she is doing, as much as you have asked? Would you tell them I kept our daughter from seeing you for over a year? And the first thing our daughter said to you after that year was "I missed you for that whole year, Daddy?"

No, no you wouldn't. That's what *I* have been saying. I wish it weren't all true.

At first, I wanted some sort of apology for all this. But I know you don't realize what you are doing. You.just.hate. Maybe, if I could understand why you hate so much, all this wouldn't be happening? Is there something *I* need to apologize for to make this stop? Have I missed something?

The last time we spoke, you said I don't care. If I didn't care, would I choose to stay where someone is making me feel like a loser 24/7, so I could be the ONLY thing I can be now?

A Father.

please ... no more hate.






Ciao