"Love is what's in the room at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen."Bobby - age 7
Almost year end. Let's review!
Downs
- My little GoTruck has died.
- Old girlfriend has shown me the line.
- I'm working roughly 12 hours a day.
- And for the 6th year in a row, I'll be alone Christmas morning.
- I'm still alive.
Even though it is not statistically sound that clinical depression cases rise around the Holiday season, it happens. Most are easy to spot. Listless, isolated, focused on what is driving them insane. Most are... others, like me, after years of living with it, have adapted, shifted and created a new lifeline, one filled with the sour, empty feelings. Left alone long enough, anything's possible....
What do I want for Christmas? Something material? That's an easy one. I want what only one person has ever given me. I want someone, "anyone" to give me physical proof (not more words, sayings, quotes, theories, etc) that someone cares. Substantial, tangible proof that I am doing all this FOR something.
...or a new truck.
Ciao
2 comments:
1 - Congratulations on being alive.
2 - I care that you are doing ok, relatively speaking.
3- Clinical depression, I have it 12 months of the year. Yes it gets worse at holiday time. My head is screaming as I hear all the laughter "get to fuck away from me I want to be alone"
Would I be any happier if I was alone on Christmas morning??
4 - What do you want for Christmas? I can't give you that because I can just say words. They are not physical proof or material but I will say it anyway. "I do care"
Merry Christmas
I could leave you some physical, tangible proof that I do care... but most people aren't fond of the things I leave on their doorstep. I really don't know why... ... ...
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